They won't let me see him.  Somebody told them that I was bragging about plans on how to kill him and that I said I was happy he was hurt.

I feel helpless.

I know it's been awhile.

Chris and I broke up.  I'm dating a new guy, his name is Josh and he goes to Central.  Chris is dating a new girl named Button.  *snerk*

I'm so stressed.  Chris was in an accident on Tuesday.  He broke his spine in two different places and will probably never walk again.  His family is blaming me and they don't want me there, but Chris does.  I will always love him.  He asked for me on Wed. morning first thing.  Scary huh?  I thought he hated me.  I think I hate me.  I really don't know what to do.  I'm leaving home soon to go back to the hospital to see if I can see him again.  I'm so scared.  Why the fuck was he climbing rocks without a harness?  Why was he so stupid?  I haven't ate in a day and I can't sleep and I just want to go and see him and check on him and make sure that he's okay.  I'm so so so scared and I would do anything to make him better, but all I can do right now is pray and hope and try to make him feel better.  I hate being so helpless.  I just want him to be okay.  He'll never walk again, probably.  He won't have children, which I know that he wanted.  Why did this happen?